 riving home one day recently, I pondered before the Lord the apparent “discrepancy” between a standard of excellence to which I aspired and the actual level He enabled me to achieve. I was surprised to receive an answer. With the faces of my own children fresh in my mind, the question was posed: “Would you rather have achievers of excellence or hearts flowing with humility, gentle perseverance, and thanksgiving?”
Tedd Tripp’s book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, addresses precisely this same issue. When read with care, the book addresses not just the child’s heart, but the parent’s heart as well. Whereas we tend to replace a heart that pleases God with mere behavior modification and “standards of excellence,” Tripp brings God’s aim to light: It’s the heart that matters most, and mine no less than my child’s...
“They must understand the Christian life not simply as living according to a biblical code, but as life in faith, commitment and fellowship with the living God.”
Our children will learn to mimic our shallow walk with God. “[E]veryone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher,” Jesus said [Luke 6:40]. Tripp gently points to the far-reaching implications of this principle, and provides guidelines to help parents truly focus on the heart itself, rather than mere external compliance with standards of conduct. He warns:
“The cost is great. It means being available and fully engaged in parenting.”
But what an incredibly small price to pay, compared with the enduring fruit borne of that sacrifice! “Train up a child in the way he should go,” says Proverbs 22:6, “and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” There is an immeasurable difference between a heart “trained up” to exhibit an expected standard of behavior, and a heart “trained up” to walk in brokenness, and humility, clinging with thanksgiving to the cross of Christ:
"We all sin and are sinned against. We are both perpetrators and victims. For this reason all of life must be viewed in terms of God's redemptive restoration of man."
Much, much more than a mere “how to” book on child rearing, Shepherding a Child’s Heart should be a must-read for every parent and non-parent alike.
Timothy Wallace
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